So, it has been 2 years since my last confession (blog post).
I cannot honestly say that I have had a hard life, although there have been low times and it is not always like my favorite amusement park ride. Since you asked, I like the Teacup one when you sit in a teacup and go around and around. I digress.
With all the things that have been going on the last few years in our country and abroad, I have realized that I have blocked a lot of events out during my lifetime. I guess my defense mechanism kicks in when bad things happen, because I don’t want to face the reality of life that so many people deal with on a daily basis. They cannot escape. I realize I have the privilege to carry on and not worry that much about being pulled over and whatever that interaction may turn into or getting caught in the crossfire of a territorial battle in my neighborhood.
Recently, I have immersed myself in movies, books and conversations that are sometimes awkward and uncomfortable about the lives of people who are not exactly like me. They detail the obstacles people face daily, mainly because they were born into a minority group. Sure, I could just go on about my life and not think or feel about some of the things that are happening. That would be my first instinct (avoid pain, choose comfort), but that needs to change. I need to change. A lot of people need to change.
The problems of today are not really new and I thought we had all come a long way, but I was just wishing so hard that that was true…it became true in my head. I thought the White Supremacists were a thing of the past, but they have just stayed under my radar. I am disappointed in myself for thinking everyone was fine and getting along like we are all the same. Just call me Pollyanna.
I am not sure where I am going with this post, but I had to get some stuff out of my head and written down. I want others to know that I am aware that I have a lot of learning and growing to do and I need to pull my head out of the sand. I don’t have any answers about making things better, but I have to start with myself and try to overcome the biases I have that I don’t often admit. I will probably be a work in progress until the day I die, but that is better than believing I have all the answers and acting like there is no room for improvement.